Hey, you wanna buy a car? Here’s my offer: If you give me $50,000 I’ll deliver a vehicle to you next year. Until then, you don’t get to drive it or see it. Maybe it’s a new Lamborghini, or maybe it’s a ’77 Pinto with a tendency to explode.
Any takers? I didn’t think so. No one with a lick of common sense would take that deal, yet I routinely meet men, and more than a few women, who use that method to make a much more important decision: they marry people they haven’t truly gotten to know. Occasionally they get lucky, but more often they deeply regret it. Continue reading “Men, Never Marry a Misstery”
So you’re thinking about tying the knot. Congratulations! Not to rain on your parade, but have you considered what might happen if you ever need to untie the knot? Continue reading “How to Talk to Your Girlfriend about Prenuptial Agreements”
My favorite study of the week says dogs have about 530 million cortical neurons, and cats have 250 million. However, cats make up the deficit by forcing their owners to boast about feline superiority. Here are some other tidbits that caught my attention this month. Continue reading “December PsychNotes”
Romance is risky for men. The right relationship can be the best thing that happens to a man, or the wrong one can ruin him. Ask any man who lost his shirt in family court or was trapped with an abusive woman because staying was easier than leaving. Good men need to manage romantic risk the way good investors manage monetary risk.
That’s especially true on college campuses, where the safest course for men may be to avoid dating classmates altogether. Examples of disastrous college romances are plentiful. Let’s start at Columbia University. Continue reading “Why College Men Should Not Date College Women”
“Hi Mark, I’m breathing!” Click.
That’s one of hundreds of voicemails Mark Nothdurft has received from his students over the years. This one is from Nick, a spirited young man with autism who has studied martial arts with Mark for more than a decade. Continue reading “Denver’s Peaceful Warriors: Developmental Disabilities and the Martial Arts”
Here’s a modern-day riddle. In a world where predators prey on weakness, why would anyone pretend to be gutless and fragile? Bad guys search for vulnerability in their victims. It makes no sense to paint a target on oneself by feigning weakness. Continue reading “Why Victimhood Is Thriving at College, and What We Can Do about It”
Right now, as I very slowly type, I know several men who are looking for the women of their dreams. These are smart men. Men of kindness and character. Men who frequently leave me envious of their checking accounts, their intellect, their ability to dress well.
Maybe it’s because I’m a shrink, but I almost always know several great guys who are looking for great women. Continue reading “Stop Saying There Are No Good Men if You Want a Good Man”
The great majority of us are on the wrong end of an abusive relationship. There is a hypersensitivity problem in our society, and it’s costing us time, money, and freedom. This problem deserves a name, so I’ll take the liberty of coining a new psychiatric term: Highly Offended Person (HOP). Continue reading “Surviving Highly Offended People”